MGS Song Parodies and Poems
by Otaku Tess
Summary: [New- A Otaku Haiku] The title explains it all, ne? ^_^;;
1. Call Me Hal

**_Disclaimer -_** Metal Gear Solid is in no way mine. It belongs to Komami and Hideo Kojima. Please don't kill, sue, and/or flame. Thank you.**  
**

  
  
You can call me Hal  
  
A man walks down through the snow,  
He says, What am I fighting for?  
What was she fighting for?  
The rest of my life was no war!  
I need a photo-opportunity,  
I want a shot at redemption!  
I want to be like a hero,  
In a cartoon world, now .....  
  
Wolf Lover, Wolf Lover,  
Wolves in the moonlight.  
Far away, an exit place.  
Mr. Solid Snake, Solid Snake  
Gonna get her mutts away from you!  
She probably won't find this kinda stuff useful anymore...  
  
If you'll be my bodyguard,  
I can be your long lost pal!  
I can call you David,  
And David, when you call me,  
You can call me Hal!  
  
A man walks through the snow,  
He says, "Why am I such a ledgend?  
People want to call me a legend...  
And whoa, my life is a lie!  
She could be my wife, my family!  
Now she'll die here...  
Who'll be my best friend?  
Now that my best friend is ....  
Gone ...... gone?"  
He ducked back down the cordore,  
With some shakin' fakin', little Army girl.  
_All along .... along ....  
There were incidents and accidents,  
_There were lies and back stabbers.....   
  
If you'll be my bodyguard,  
I can be your long lost pal!  
I can call you David,  
And David, when you call me,  
You can call me Hal!  
Call me Hal ......  
  
Two men walk through the snow,  
It's the snow of the old days.  
Soon it'll be the new days.  
Definatly their first time around.  
But they'll start anew now,  
Get straight currently.  
They are lost men,  
they are surrounded by the thoughts, thoughts ....  
Seeing their loves' faces.  
Cherishing their memories...  
They look around, around .....   
They see angels in their mind's eye,  
Spinning in infinity,  
One says, "This ending has no caribou!"  
  
If you'll be my bodyguard,  
I can be your long lost pal!  
I can call you David,  
And David, when you call me,  
You can call me Hal!  
You can call me Hal ......  


  
  
  
_Notes: Sorry for the Caribou refference. I couldn't help myself.  
if you every hear this song... it fits MGS1 ANYWAY... but I took the liberty of making everything litereal. Hope you enjoyed.  
  
_


	2. Not an Individual

**"Just a Model and Not an individual"**  
_By: Otaku Tess_  
To the tune of "Modern Major-General" By Gilbert and Sullivan!  


  
  
**LIQUID: **  
I am just a model and I'm not an individual,   
Me genes are had by solid, and they say that he's unbeatable.   
My accent is from England, and I know I sound hysterical  
but my father told me that I'm worthless and I'm terrible  
so now you can imagine why my motives ar'n't deplorable  
I understand quite perfectly, that Solid's why I'm horrible!   
So by challenging my brother to a series of obnoxious duels  
I can finally prove that maybe Snake is not the one who rules!  
  
**FOX-HOUND TERRORISTS: **  
He can finally prove that maybe Snake is not the one who rules!  
He can finally prove that maybe Snake is not the one who rules!  
He can finally prove that maybe Snake is not the one who rules!  
  
**LIQUID: **  
I speak seven languages fluently and Natively;   
Though with Snake's existence all my actions are done plaintively!  
In short in matters linguistical, strategical, and physical  
I am just a model and I'm not an individual.  
  
**FOX-HOUND TERRORISTS: **  
In short in matters linguistical, strategical, and physical  
He is just a model and he's not an individual!  
  
  
**LIQUID: **  
My IQ is through the roof, reaching one-hundred-eighty-three!   
But somehow this amazing fact is simply not enough for me.   
My father thought of me as one he could just repudiate!  
And I know that I am one for whom no-one will commiserate!   
I may be in everything meticulous and discriminating....  
If it wasn't for my severe bit of Solid Hating!  
But when I am saying I'm the "Miller" I pretend to be,  
When he calls me "Master" that is just another score for me!  
  
  
**FOX-HOUND TERRORISTS: **  
And when he calls him "Master" that is just another score for ... uh.... He!!  
And when he calls him "Master" that is just another score for he!  
And when he calls him "Master" that is just another score for he!  
_(They all get sweatdrops)_  
  
**LIQUID: **  
With my military knowledge,of this particular machine,   
I will prove that he's the one that possesses the recessive gene!   
In short in matters linguistical, strategical, and physical  
I am just a model and I'm not an individual!  
  
**FOX-HOUND TERRORISTS: **  
In short in matters linguistical, strategical, and physical  
He is just a model and he's not an individual!  
  


**End.  
_And not an Otacon in sight.  
What's wrong with me?  
I don't even LIKE Liquid._**


	3. Did it All for the Rookie

**  
"Did it all For the Rookie"  
  
**_BY: Otaku Tess_  
Original Song "Nookie" By: Limp Bizkit  
  
  
  
I came into this world as a mad clone   
Look into these eyes   
You can see that I am (that I am) alone.   
Post traumatic stress   
is makin' me insane!  
I only wish that I didn't have this fame!  
Hey, I think about the day   
My CO made me stay all the way  
Because only I could save the day!  
Now she's stuck with Ocelot so she's f*cked   
And now I'm just a Loser with a gun in my hand   
  
(Hey) It's no fun (Hey) It's no fun  
(Hey) It's no fun (Hey) It's no fun  
(Hey) It's no fun (Hey) It's no fun  
(Hey) It's no fun (hey)   
  
Now I'm feelin' bad (doh),   
Is she feeling pissed? (no)   
It's kinda sad!  
I'm gonna lose my girl to the terrorists!  
Otacon said I should be movin' on...  
But I'm a loser cause she's dead,   
I Don't care what he said, (not)  
Maybe I just made a mistake  
And this ending's fake?  
But My heart'll ache,  
either way!  
Hey, what the hell?!?!  
Whatchu want me to say?   
I wont lie, and I can't deny..   
  
  
I did it all for the Rookie,   
Come on the Rookie,   
Come on --!  
So you can call your bookie  
And Watch her shake her (yeah)   
Watch her shake her (yeah)  
Watch her shake her (yeah)  
Watch her shake her--!  
I did it all for the Rookie,   
Come on the Rookie,   
Come on --!  
So you can call your bookie  
And Watch her shake her (yeah)   
Watch her shake her (yeah)  
Watch her shake her (yeah)  
Watch her shake her--!  
  
Why did it seem so wrong?   
Why? Why was this ending wrong? huh?   
I can't figure it out, And I didn't..  
Now I'm the only one  
Underneath the sun that didn't win it.   
I can't believe  
that I couldn't breath   
(But you can't) While being tortured...  
But in reality, there was an alternate ender...  
She liked the other gender,  
Found we were tender...  
And Still I surrender!  
  
(Hey) It's no fun (Hey) It's no fun  
(Hey) It's no fun (Hey) It's no fun  
(Hey) It's no fun (Hey) It's no fun  
(Hey) It's no fun (hey)   
  
(CHORUS)  
  
I'm only human...  
There's no use for my "friend"  
I didn't need his advice   
And he tells me (tells you)   
Not to let her go (let her go)   
But I just don't feel... I've won.   
I appreciate it... I do...  
But I have to kill my clone....   
Kill my clone..  
Just let me kill my clone!  
If it's gonna change...  
And I can save the day...  
I won't lose this way...  
And I won't have the blame!  
If it's gonna change...  
She won't die this way...  
And we can get away...  
From Here and never be the same   
And Never be the same   
And Never be the same   
Otacon's ending is lame...  
And we Won't be lame!!  
You won't die here  
and make me look lame!  
  
  
(CHORUS)  
  
  
  


NOTES: _Just trying to keep stuff coming, seeing as how Bad Ronald has been G-O-N-N, "gone".... Thanks to Maggoctopus for inadvertently giving me the idea for this.  
  
_


	4. Otacon Haiku

**  
"Otacon"  
  
**_By: Otaku Tess  
  
  
_Glasses slide down nose  
His hands glide across the keys  
The lure of the geek  
  
  
  
  


NOTES__: Not technically a song parody... But I'm very obessive compulsive about conserving space so I uploaded it to here. Maybe if you like it I will write some more poems and/or Haikus. I'm on a Haiku kick. XD 


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